Attempting To Answer The Question Of ‘What Should I Do’

12 min read

We’ve all heard of this hackneyed expression at one time or another, experiencing it ourselves at some juncture.

The way we dealt with this issue is most often pushed away into our subconscious the moment we IGNORED and ACTED on our own accord, meaning that once we’ve ‘solved’ the inquiry, no answer was needed as the question itself was unneeded.

That is why not many people can help you out once you’ve come to terms with dealing with the constant pestering of your mind.

It’s a lot of pressure, isn’t it?

When this question enters your conscious existence, many spend months or even years being held back by this cleverly contrived string of words.

This isn’t the only example of such inquiries that keep you sulking as a person. This one, for reference, has a much deeper meaning entailed to it;

It’s basically challenging your worth, self-confidence, time management, course of action…

But that isn’t the main dilemma, no, it is that the mere act of ACTING that makes way for so much stress as ‘The grass is always greener on the other side.’

Translated into reality, this would express itself in the following sentences:

‘Another project of mine failed, I should just go flip burgers’

‘I’m only earning 3$/day doing CPA and look at this guy earning 30, 300, 3000, 30000 (doesn’t matter what number sets off your depression radars) dollars a day, why can’t I be like him?’

‘I’ve been working on this website for months, yet haven’t seen a chunk of the investment I’ve put into it. IM seems to be dying by the day.’

‘I’ve had successful projects before and I can’t translate this success into the things that I’m doing right now. I feel beaten down, crestfallen.’

When asking your acquaintances for help, the tritest of answers usually follow suit

‘You just gotta like ACT man’

‘Find something you like to do idk man’

‘it’s not all about the money, it’s about the journey XDDDD *proceeds to count his Lambos*’

This is all drivel to you and one might think, as you are in the ‘What should I do’ state of mind, that your interlocutors are making fun out of your predicament, which only serves to further spoil your mood.

The main thing holding you down, ostentatiously operates as a sort of life-changing challenge posed to you, just listen to it for a moment:

‘WHAT SHOULD I DO?’

Before going into that, let me just draw a tangent between sufferers from drug related addictions and us.

Can you spot the difference?

We’re both failing to conform to our OWN set of norms that determine what is expected of us.

We’re both failing to see the value in other people’s ‘advice’.

We’re both failing to be perfect.

We’re both failing to act in a way that will let society tell us; ‘Good job boy, here’s some value as we perceive the thing you’re doing to be worthy of appraisal’

Other’s just don’t get US, they aren’t US, they haven’t got OUR story, they can never be US.

If we knew the answer to life, we wouldn’t be asking such inane questions/doing heroin.

 

The funny thing about the way our brain deals with issues is that it interprets them as immediate, short-term problems that have a quick solution at hand.

That’s what might prompt you to say, if I knew what I wanted to do, there is a 100% chance that my success would be inevitable and that my victory is assured.

I JUST NEED THE RIGHT FUCKING NICHE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

After all, I’m a strong, independent, hard-working and confident young soul that strives to take the bull by its horns!

But I’m also a lazy, no-good, lollygagging piece of shit that is worthless. I should just die.

Everything in life lined up perfectly for me, JUST this one sneaky little thing holding me back but just you wait, when I get ahold of it, nothing will stop me!

This ONE answer will erode all of my negative traits and put the positive ones in the spotlight, acting would be superfluous at this point, as once I got MY answer, things will start flowing perfectly!

 

I WILL BECOME PERFECTION!

 

The first thing to realize is that the question in question is one that is being posed to us since the moment of our inception.

The disinterested ladies working in your local kindergarten might note how little Billy playing with the firetruck will translate into him becoming a sexy fireman one day.

The moment you enter school or on show and tell day, presented are the DOers of our society, urging you to become one of them, for the sake of upholding our social milieu.

Ten-year old’s (even younger in my country) are being forced by an unscrupulous system to pick one of the few banal things set for their type of ‘talent’ and ‘skills’, determining the DOing of their next 40-80 years with a simple sheet of paper.

Now many will have their brows twitching at my latter claim but be honest with me for a moment, how many people do you know to be happy with their jobs or choice of careers?

The brighter the Facebook pictures, the grimmer the depression.

But I digress, let’s get to why this is important for the topic of our discussion;

Many people, including yours truly, see IM as a sort of Messiah that has come to take us from the evil hands of an uncaring society, catapulting us to our true calling and finally making us HAPPY.

It’s an amazing escape from the sleazy day-to-day humans we all have to encounter, a shortcut to all the bootlicking we have to do at our 9-5s and a breakthrough from slave to freemen!

 

Don’t you see the connection? Do you see what is happening?

 

We’re conflating the terms of our dystopian reality and bringing it into the last bastion of our freedom, the Internet.

It is not that wanting to amass monetary value through the Internet is a bad thing on its own, but that the constant struggle sucks all the awesomeness out of the experience, leaving us stranded like an empty shell.

So, to put an end to the jumbled mess, let’s draw out the main points broached today

  • Most anyone doesn’t know what the fuck they’re doing, and it’s completely fine
  • Don’t let your parents or your environment determine what amount of value your actions entail
  • Don’t try to cover one weakness by pumping money into it, i.e. being rich won’t erase the underlying issues of any of your other problems
  • Have fun on the Internet, it’s meant to be a relaxing platform
  • Important questions don’t have the right answers, it’s all down to interpretation, so leave the ‘important’ out of the equation
  • Allow yourself to try everything, within its own means.
  • Most people are very unhappy, since they have been sold on the idea that striving for the unattainable will finally make them happy once it’s attained (????????????????)
  • Dependency and addiction come in many forms, not all require a specialized tincture from your local drug dealer.

 

I could probably draw out a thousand more, but I’ll let you do the heavy lifting.

So, a thousand words later and I still haven’t answered the main subject manner, truly a content writer at heart, eh?

I can only speak from personal experience, but I believe that the best course of action in this sort of scenario would be to literally do the one thing your ‘rational brain’ is telling you not to do.

For example, let’s say that you have this amazing goal of moving out of your parents’ house, having your own apartment and tapping them coke bitches yo.

For that to be achieved, the amount next to the dollar sign needs to show a certain number that it simply isn’t showing on your account, so unlucky you!

As I said, recognize that you’re suffering from 3) in the latter list, as all of these things are manageable without having a sizeable wallet.

It’s all about AVOIDING your weaknesses and POSTPONING challenges.

I’m getting off track again.

Anyways, simply do the one thing you’re not supposed to do right now.

For me, that would’ve been playing Dota 2 for hours on end a few months ago. I had this scrumptious vision of becoming a content writing business mogul, earning millions of dollars and finally yielding the respect I deserved from my society!

I put everything on the line, worked 20 or even more hours a day ANDDDDDDD burned into smithereens after just three weeks.

Did I mention that I was unhappy before, during and after going through that entire ordeal?

I was on step one, back to the drawing board, feeling more lost and disoriented than ever before.

So, what did I do?

I did what I should’ve done the moment the idea entered my being; Play Dota 2.

And so I did, for a month, all I would do is get up, play dota 2 and go to sleep.

I was happy and relatively stress-free (fuck that game) but after a month, I’ve felt as if I had grown tired of the fun.

I’ve come to realize that the only reason why I’ve been so invested into it is to have a reason not to pursue my ‘real goals’, such as becoming super rich and therefore, happy.

As this era came to an end, the question in topic came up again, so, as an ‘irrational’ (I would rather be irrational than a miserable, depressed and somber sod), emotional human being, I’ve decided against calculating the tangible money-to-hour ration and set for doing dropshipping for a while.

Why?

I don’t know. It seemed like something that I always wanted to try out but never did because of my own self-limiting rules about IM.

I knew that it was tough to get into, impossible to break even and a hassle to deal with all the disgruntled customers inquiring about their 5$ headphones.

I went into it KNEWING that it would be unprofitable just for the sake of FUN.

And fun I did have, earning 9$ in 15 days of droppshipping, while losing out on around 50 or so. It’s a back-of-the-envelope calculation so don’t quote me on it.

‘Disastrous!’ Some might think to themselves, losing 40$ in 15 days!!! That’s preposterous!

Quite conversely, salubrious I say!

I’ve gained half a month of fun for less than three dollars a day, plus all the knowledge I had to imbue during the voyage came in handy at later points in my life.

To conclude, stop limiting yourself, stop looking at the fucking numbers since it’s all just a giant fucking sham and have fun on the Internet.

That’s how I eventually got back to content writing and how I set to improve MYSELF rather than my bank account by making this my vocation.

Nowadays, as Dota 2 is still installed on my computer, the choice between doing it and doing something I love to do is as easy as riding a bike;

I’m now an advocator of my own happiness, rather than a vigilante of someone else’s creation.

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